Too Many Ideas, Not Enough Brain

This is my jar of ideas. Each little post-it has something written on it. The green ones are novel ideas. The grey ones are for my YouTube channel.

Why am I posting this? It's simple, really. I have too many ideas and not enough brain capacity to deal with all of them at once. By doing this, I get to write down all my ideas and still come back to them when I have the time to deal with them.

Goldfish-ism

Warning: This blog post will be incredibly random. Proceed at your own risk.

Do you ever just have moments where nothing can make you focus? No matter how hard you try, you're always getting distracted? Yeah, me too. In fact, I sat down to write this post and immediately needed to clean my phone case.

Today, I feel like a goldfish. I managed to sit still and focus all through rehearsal this afternoon, but once I was home, I couldn't focus on anything to save my life.

Here's a random picture of a frog in a hole that I took last summer. Speaking of frogs, I once wanted to write a twist on the Frog Prince. I should probably get started on that eventually. Maybe after something sweet to eat, not that I need sugar in this state.

Sugar... Alright, dessert tortilla as soon as I finish writing this post... Or maybe after this sentence. I can't decide.

All in all, tonight, I am a goldfish.

It Feels Like Monday...

Irony is something I am very familiar with.  As a writer, I love to employ it whenever possible.  It's also hilarious when I'm sarcastic and no one gets it.  Today, though, was a day that the universe decided that I needed more situational irony in my life.

So, I was on my way to get gas and shots because it had to be done.  I was fixing to pass a gas station (but not the one I was headed to) when my van decided it was completely out of gas.  It wasn't having it anymore and I sputtered to a halt.  I was 100 yards from the gas station, and about 50 from the police/fire station.  There was a semi behind me that had also run out of gas...  And after I finally managed to get some gas in my van and I'm pulling away, another guy sputters to a stop.

 

When I got home, I promptly burst into tears.  I'd already tried my best to avoid sobbing on the cop who was kind enough to assist me while I filled up my van.  The whole situation was so absurd.  I think I was a little in shock, as well.

 

If anything, I learned exactly how far I can drive once my gas gauge says it's empty.

Jumping Right Back In

I can't leave anything alone for long.  It's something that I've noticed.  If I have something that I want to do, I do it.  Call it a flaw, if you will, or just a perk of being me.  I may leave a project alone for awhile, but I will always come back to it.

Publishing my first novel was a different experience for me.  I was put through an emotional roller coaster as I dealt with the problems that popped up.  Oh, there was a typo in the novel that I missed.  The Kindle edition format was messed up.  The font wasn't embedding properly.  The list seemed never ending.

Despite the heartache of publishing, I've already started on another two novels.  Well, I've started on the research and background for these two novels.  Ordinarily, when writing fantasy, the world is yours to create.  When you write urban or contemporary fantasy, though, you're confined to the world that exists already.  Sure, you can tweak it, but it helps if there is some believability to it.

With that in mind, I'm working on slowly building the world in which my characters will live.  Even if the whole novel takes place in one building, I want to know everything I can about the entire world before I set out to write this time.

Time to Panic?

Eight.

That's how many days I have until I am officially a published author. I have trouble remaining calm when I think about it. I'm still doing last minute edits. Leave it to me to procrastinate like always. Ideally, this should have been done last week. Instead l, I put it off.

Six.

I have six weeks until the first show I'm performing in. It's how many weeks I have to master this solo and pretend I'm not dying a little inside, thinking about how terrible I think it could end up.

Four.

That's the number of days until I have to figure out the rest of my one costume for this show next month. I don't know how I'm going to manage Batgirl, but I'm certainly going to try!

Now, back to editing, before I start crying.

2012

Well, it's been 2013 for a week, officially, and I'm not quite sure how to feel about the whole matter.  It's different.  Already, so much has changed for me this year.  I'm alright with all that, though.  I'm finally finishing up my novel.  I've had to add a couple of scenes and writing them is emotionally draining, but so worth it.

Last year saw the start of many things for me.  It saw me start blogging and vlogging.  It was the beginning of several amazing friendships and the loss of some that I wish hadn't had to end.  It saw me gain a bit of independence, and this year will see me fighting to maintain it.  Last year was an amazing year and I can only hope this year will be just as great.

Late Night Blogging

Normally, I don't bother blogging after midnight, simply because I'm typically laying in bed and attempting to sleep. Tonight, though, four terrible words were uttered.

"Don't wait for me."

To hear those words was like a knife to the heart, again. It isn't the first time this person has said something like this to me. However, it doesn't stop me from hoping that he'll change his mind and admit he loves me. It always seemed like a pipe dream until more recently. Maybe I'm still just dreaming. After all, why would he tie himself to me when he could have anyone?

Heartache comes in many forms. One that I'm sure everyone is deeply aware of is friendzoning. Once you are there, there is little chance of escape. People complain all the time that they can't get passed the fact that they're love with their best friend.

Darlings, I know your pain. I'm there right now, and it's terrible. To be so close, yet have them so far... It's enough to drive you mad. Never despair, though. One day, you will realize you are stronger for it. Until then, soldier on and hope that someday, they will realize your worth.