On Inspiration and Motivation

Funny how little things tend to cause everything to seem as though it's spiraling out of control. Two months ago, I would have thought everything would be perfect by now. After all, I've officially been nineteen for a week. They always say things will get better, but when is always the question.

Of late, life has been a rollercoaster of things that tend to drive me insane, in both good and bad ways. There are people I wouldn't trade for the world, things I've done that I would do again in an instant, and then there are also the minor regrets, though those are few and far between. Still, it feels as though something's missing. It drives me insane to sit in front of the computer for hours and only be able to type out a paragraph at most.

Losing the motivation to write is the hardest thing for a writer. I have so much that must be done, so many words that need to be put to paper, but I can't seem to get them out. It's not for lack of trying, either. My devoted boyfriend tells me to write every day. Typically, the only writing I get done is a few tweets, and, if I'm lucky, a couple of ideas for a vlog that I'll put off for another week because I haven't cleaned.

What's worse is the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I'm not writing. It's as though my characters are trying to claw their way out, but they can't seem to get there. The words build up, and it drives me insane.

It's not for lack of inspiration, either. I have inspiration in every moment of my life. From the way my boyfriend looks at me at breakfast when I'm not all the way awake and he couldn't care less about my messy hair to the way the sun comes through the windows of the studio, lighting it up and making me want to dance until my feet hurt (a regular occurrence lately, with preparing for pro training next month), inspiration is in abundance.

All I can do is push forward and hope my motivation returns, though time will be in short supply come November.

Arty Gets a Movie

Remember how last year I was going on about the Artemis Fowl movie and how it was stuck in production hell? Guess who got out?! That's right. They officially announced they were moving forward with the Artemis Fowl movie. As such, I think it's time to update my dream team for the cast of the movie.

Here's what we currently know about it before I get started:

• Disney is making it.
• Robert de Niro is producing
• Michael Goldenberg is writing the script.

Now that that's out of the way, keep that in mind as I take a stab at casting who I would if I was directing it.

1. Artemis Fowl
   It's hard to figure out an actor for the title role. People have mentioned Asa Butterfield as the boy genius, but my only fear with that is he's a little old for the role, though he certainly looks like Arty. When we first meet Artemis Fowl, he's supposed to be twelve. Asa is sixteen. Could be worse, though.
2. Butler
   I stand by my earlier dream casting here, with Jason Statham. Who else could kick butt and still win our hearts? Need more reasons? Just look at everything else he's done.
3. Foaly
   I'm still all on board for Steve Coogan to take the role of Foaly, though I'd also be happy with David Tennant, Justin Bartha, or Peter Capaldi in the role, though I doubt they'll cast Peter due to his recent casting in Doctor Who.
4. Holly
   I have so many issues finding a Holly in my mind, because I see her in my mind as Holly as she's written. Whoever they cast will have large wings to fill...
5. Mulch
   I'm still saying Lee Arenberg, though Jack Black has been mentioned as a potential. I would rather see Lee in the role, simply because I love him to death and he's a very underrated actor.
6. Juliet Butler
   Is it sad that I'm calling either Elle Fanning or Chloë Grace Moretz for Juliet? They both have the abilities, and the looks to pull it off. I would be happy with either, and if neither of them are cast, then I'll be judging so very hard.
7. Commander Root
   This has been one that's bugged me for months, and I'm finally calling it for either J.K Simmons or Anthony Hopkins. They're both men of incredible acting abilities and to play Root, you have to be tougher than tough. They can do it.

That's all for now, loves!

Losing Myself

So, I'm realizing that I'm getting terrible at keeping a blog. My Tumblr is doing great, but that's only because it's not really meant for long blog posts, though I've posted a few of those as well.

Quite a bit has happened in the month since I last said howdy to you lot. I've been struggling to write as much as I need to for Camp NaNoWriMo. Thankfully, I don't really have much of a social life anymore to get in my way. It's just dancing and volunteering that have stopped me from being ahead. Well, that and my own mind. I'm working on three different projects this month, which is a bit more of a struggle than it really ought to be.

I realized a couple of days ago that in all the rush and craziness of my everyday life, I've started to lose track of what's important to me. I've been so worried about if I'll be able to do everything that everyone else wants me to do that I forgot that my own dreams need to come first. Between my dancing and my writing, I know what I want to do with my life. Everyone else has other plans for me, though.

Go to college, get a real job, don't waste your time on such trivial pursuits. I hear this all the time, and the constant barrage makes me wonder if I'm making the right decisions by following my dreams. Sure, I intend to go back to college and get my degree, but the timing is off. I know I'm capable of handling the workload, but it means I'll be losing every bit of a social life I've managed to gain. And yes, school is important. I'm not denying that, or the fact that I miss it, but I'm in no rush to go back just yet. I left for a reason. I needed to find myself.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm going to have to make some tough decisions in the near future. I've got my whole life ahead of me to do some things, but other things... they're within my reach and there's no point in not going after them. If I let my dreams slip away, I'll only be losing myself.

The Creative Mind

Recently, I realized I have a bit of a problem. My mind is always working and it never stops. It makes focusing on a single project very difficult. I've been trying to find a way to finish my novels and yet... there are too many things that call me away from them. Well, it's time to buckle down and finish something else. It has to happen, otherwise, I'm going to lose my mind.

Here's a quick outline of next week and how I plan on using it to complete another novel before the end of July so I can actually get it published.

• June 15: Cleaning, character development, locating old manuscripts that could use some polishing.
• June 16: Hanging out with the boyfriend and getting him to read an old manuscript if he's willing.
• June 17: Dance, writing 2000 words.
• June 18: Writing, cleaning, filming this week's main YouTube video.
• June 19: Calm before the storm. Time to practice for dance.
• June 20: Writing, cleaning, cooking, dance in the evening.
• June 21: Volunteering in the morning/early afternoon, writing/reading in the park, dance.
• June 22: Calm day, cleaning, maybe hanging out with the boyfriend.
• June 23: Monster's University, writing (hopefully), and practice time.

I don't think I have any time to breath, but that's alright. I'll manage.

Welcoming a New Month

Howdy! It's been a hell of a month, but I'm back at it. I do apologize for disappearing last month, but it became increasingly difficult to write a blog, keep up with two Tumblr accounts, dance, and write a novel.

That's right. I did it! I officially won Camp NaNoWriMo. I didn't hit my original fifty thousand word goal, but that's alright. I managed to hit twenty thousand, which was my amended goal, and I got several brilliant ideas out of the whole ordeal. Yay!

Alright, well, I need to get back to writing and posting this vlog. See you all soon.

Last Minute Panic

Days until Camp NaNoWriMo: 10

The last minute panic has set in. Will I be able to do it this time or am I just fooling myself? I'll have guests over the next few weeks, which means my writing time during the crucial first week will be interrupted and shortened. With what happened in November, it has me worried. Of course, in November, I didn't have my phone to go to when pen and paper weren't working.

Other questions plague me, too. I'm getting ready for a performance with my dance class, and that'll be the third week of the month. How will rehearsals effect my writing? My dancing is always going to come first, even when I really prefer to be writing.

The biggest question of the week is a doozy. Will my plot stand the test of marathon writing? I don't know. I have to keep hoping, praying, that it will work. Otherwise, I'll be working on several projects this month instead of just one...

My NaNoWriMo Survival Kit

Days until Camp NaNoWriMo: 12

Everyone approaches insanity with different outlook. Writing a novel in a month is certainly nothing short of insanity. However, I never do it alone. Here are a few things that help me through the next month.

-Phone: As I broke my laptop, my phone is currently the only way I can write. I should be getting a tablet or new laptop eventually, but until my parents and I can come to some sort of arrangement, my iPhone is my best friend.

-Soda/tea/hot chocolate: Caffeine and chocolate are an author's best friend. Being able to stay hydrated while writing is also very important.

-Pinterest: Believe it or not, I do a lot of planning on Pinterest. Location building, wardrobes, the little details of everything, it's all on a board.

-Flash drive: Even though I'm writing one phone, I still have to save my work somewhere, in a single document. I'm not willing to lose my work again.

-Pandora/iHeart Radio/playlists: What's a girl without her music?

-Notebooks and sketchbook: Notes, everywhere. They come in so many forms, and it's up to me to keep them all straight for the next month as my novel takes shape.

-Allergy medication: It's spring, the weather is fantastic, and I honestly want to write outside. How can I do that if I have a sneezing attack every time I leave the house?

-Camera: I need to capture certain moments for later, as well as for inspiration. It's the best part of being me. Writing and photography go hand in hand.

-Emergency chocolate: Sometimes, emotions run high, and chocolate is the only fix.

-Quick meals (ramen, hot dogs, anything microwaveable): It's NaNoWriMo. I don't have time to cook. A novel is calling!