Human

It seems fitting I finish up this month's blogs with a post about how flawed people, myself included, are.  Spring is a time to clean out the old issues and welcome the dawning of a new year, a new chance at life.  Summer brings us the chance to grow as people, to find ourselves, and hope we don't lose people along the way.

Over the past month, I've come to terms with a lot.  I've lost friends, made new ones, and grown as a person.  I'm still flawed, and I always will be.  I long ago accepted that I'm nowhere close to perfect.  Self-pity?  Yeah, I feel it.  Anger, depression, pride?  Yeah, I suffer from those emotions as well.  However, I work hard to overcome the negativity in my life.  I try very hard to let go of the past, and to learn from my mistakes.

Very recently, I had a bit of a meltdown.  I called some people out on the way they were treating me and the backlash was horrific.  I was sick of the abuse I was taking from people who didn't even know me or what happens in my life.  People close to those people then took it upon themselves to let me know I'm a pathetic bitch.  Hey, I'll own up to that.  I only have one thing to say in my defense:  I am human.  I make mistakes.  Life isn't about everyone liking you.  It's not about pissing off everyone around you.  It's about making mistakes, learning from them, and trying to be a better person.

So here it is, my soul laid bare.  I'm a pathetic teenager who suffers from a horrible mental affliction called being human.  I'm too smart for my own good, I don't believe in false modesty, I make mistakes quite often, and I'm in love with my life.  I wouldn't change me for the world.

Haters Gonna Hate

Odd title, isn't it?  For me, at least, it is.  I try to avoid subjects where I'll be complaining about how I feel.  This is one of those rare occasions I'm going to give in, though.  For some reason, people look at me and don't think I take crap from anyone.  That's mostly right.

Ordinarily, I brush off the abuse I take from people for how I behave, how I dress, how I carry myself.  There are times, though, that I give in and let it get to me.  I'm still human, even if I don't let the words get to me.  I still feel even when I pretend I'm made of ice.  I call myself the Ice Queen for a reason.

There comes a point when it crosses a line.  It's cyberbullying when people attack one person for no reason.  I see a lot of this in one of the former Roleplay universes I still have characters alive in.  People will become vicious for no reason other than to be mean.  We're all human, I know, but having people attack for something innocent, even in character, crosses a line.

The sad part is, they don't do it to just one person.  They do it to each other, then those same people who were attacked before help those who attacked them with attacking someone else.  It saddens me to see that happen.  Why can't we all just get along?  I know it doesn't seem to be "human nature", but neither is defending the people who attack you.

So, I'll put this question for you.  Why do they do it?  Why do they make people feel small just because they can?

The answer is simply this... Because they can.  Because we let them get away with it.  Because no one has the guts to stand up and call them out on it.

I'm done taking the abuse.  I'm done letting them walk over me because they think they can.  I understand the in-character hating on my characters.  They aren't always likeable.  But don't carry it elsewhere.  Don't let it seep into your actual life because it becomes poison.