Solitude (Growing Up)

It's an strange thing, being away from your parents. It's also a fact of life that you have to grow up and leave the safe and caring environment that your parents are supposed to have provided for you. The even stranger part is realizing that you're taking care or yourself for the first time. It's up to you to put the food on the table, wash your clothes, do the chores...

At first, it can be daunting. I know some people who left home and found themselves at a loss for what they were supposed to do. Without someone to guide them, they made some stupid mistakes. I know others who embraced the freedom and solitude, finding it easier to deal with the occasional oppressing loneliness that threatens.

I've found myself wondering how to fill my days more and more lately. While I am an adult, I've never been so far from my parents. I know that I'll miss them, but they have many adventures ahead of them. As for me, this is only the first step on a journey of a lifetime.

It's the Feels Talking

One thing everyone should know by now... I'm the kind of girl who will always speak her mind, even if it gets her into trouble.  If you've not figured this out and you read my posts with any regularity, then you've clearly not noticed a trend here.

There is a point here.  I promise.

With all the honesty that doth flow from my mouth and fingertips, I'm actually surprised I don't end up in more trouble.  After all, there are only so many times you can insult someone before they realize it's not actually a compliment.  I don't believe in lying.  Why should I?  It's an awful habit.

So, with at this in mind... why in the world do people still listen to what I say?  I can only embarrass them (and myself) so many times before they say enough is enough.  I'm also fairly positive that I hide my feelings about as well as a bat sees, which is to say not at all.  I'm transparent and proud of it.

In case you haven't realized, I am, honestly, so utterly confused right now.  The source of the confusion: men.  I know I've been told that if you understand football, you'll understand guys, but it hasn't helped me in the slightest.

So yeah... If this post made no sense, it's because it's the feels talking.

It's My Life (I'll Believe What I Want)

Typically, I try to be a very calm person.  Try was the keyword in that sentence.  Typically, I manage to succeed, until idiots surround me or someone attempts to tell me that what I believe is wrong.  Let's back up a little.

For those of you who don't know, I'm not fond of being told what to do... or what to believe.  I never have been and I never will be.  I have some wonderful words that I use when someone wants to tell me I'm wrong.  "Prove it."  It's a challenge, and most people fail to bring the proof.  I especially love when someone likes to try to use the Bible as scientific proof.

Now, I'm not saying that there isn't some truth in the Bible.  It's a brilliant history book, to a point.  When arguing that fossilized evidence isn't valid, though, don't bring religion into it.  I don't care if you're Catholic, Wiccan, or otherwise.  Science and religion have been proven not to mix well.  Galileo was a wonderful example of this.  His (then) radical ideas managed to get him arrested.

No, I'm not saying that there isn't a higher power--don't even get me started.  What I am saying, though, is that thanks to being an American, I'm allowed to believe what I want.  I'm allowed to practice whatever religion I feel like.  If I suddenly feel the urge to worship a shoe as a higher power, I can do that!  I might get laughed at, sure, but that is totally within my rights.

So, let this be a warning to everyone who wants to tell me what to believe.  I will believe what I want and say what's on my mind.  There's nothing you can do about it.  It's also well within your right to tell me I'm wrong, to tell me that I'm not a good person, and to attempt to change my mind.  However, don't expect me to stick around to see what happens.  I'm not lost.  I'm just on a different path.

Ravenclaw Pride

Ah, the thrill of waiting for the Pottermore House Cup... and the dread of coming in last.  That's right.  I'm a Ravenclaw.  Oh, that's not the best part.  The best part?  We've been trying so hard to keep up.  We just lack the students.

The biggest thing I've noticed with Ravenclaw is that we're very proud to be who we are.  We know we're intelligent.  That might actually be why we're lagging.  We've all got other things going on and don't have time to "brew brew brew" like everyone else wants.  We're all still human, and we've only got so much we can actually do.

As for duelling... I give up on it.  Everytime I go to duel, the letters go up, I press the buttons, and they fall.  Why?  Because it's not accepting that I'm pushing said buttons.  I'd rather brew potions anyway.  Part of the problem is I'm a Ravenclaw... I'm trying to be grammatically correct and capitalize the letters.  I'm sorry.  I'm a nerd.  Kinda hard thing to break.

Anyways... the point is, I'm proud to be a Ravenclaw, even when we're losing.  There's nothing better than knowing you're exactly where you belong.

Off the High

Competition.

I still can't believe it's over.  I can't even bring myself to write a long post about it because I poured my heart out on my other blog...  Biggest day in my life and it's officially been over for two days.  There are no words.  None at all.

It was an amazing experience and I would do it again in an instant.  Even the glitter.  There is no feeling like this.  Wow...

Hopefully, I'll be able to think more about this later, but for now, I'm going to enjoy coming off the high.

Human

It seems fitting I finish up this month's blogs with a post about how flawed people, myself included, are.  Spring is a time to clean out the old issues and welcome the dawning of a new year, a new chance at life.  Summer brings us the chance to grow as people, to find ourselves, and hope we don't lose people along the way.

Over the past month, I've come to terms with a lot.  I've lost friends, made new ones, and grown as a person.  I'm still flawed, and I always will be.  I long ago accepted that I'm nowhere close to perfect.  Self-pity?  Yeah, I feel it.  Anger, depression, pride?  Yeah, I suffer from those emotions as well.  However, I work hard to overcome the negativity in my life.  I try very hard to let go of the past, and to learn from my mistakes.

Very recently, I had a bit of a meltdown.  I called some people out on the way they were treating me and the backlash was horrific.  I was sick of the abuse I was taking from people who didn't even know me or what happens in my life.  People close to those people then took it upon themselves to let me know I'm a pathetic bitch.  Hey, I'll own up to that.  I only have one thing to say in my defense:  I am human.  I make mistakes.  Life isn't about everyone liking you.  It's not about pissing off everyone around you.  It's about making mistakes, learning from them, and trying to be a better person.

So here it is, my soul laid bare.  I'm a pathetic teenager who suffers from a horrible mental affliction called being human.  I'm too smart for my own good, I don't believe in false modesty, I make mistakes quite often, and I'm in love with my life.  I wouldn't change me for the world.