Believe it or not, I'm always up this late. Even with everything that goes on in my life, I still manage to find time for the important things, even at the risk of sacrficing my sleep for it. Sometimes, that simply means curling up with a good book or logging on to Skype so I can chat with my friends around the globe. Lately, though, I've been rethinking everything I consider important.
I'm one of the few people I know who remembers almost everything. I can still remember the first poem I had to memorize for school. Scary, isn't it? To drive this fact home, I've, quite sadly, not read anything except... wait for it... fanfiction and textbooks in the past four months. The main reason for that? I'm a college student. I find time to do things I enjoy, but only just. Clearly I've found myself wondering why I'm not devoting my energy to something else. I have several unfinished novels collecting figurative dust on my hard drive. I have a handful of unfinished Harry Potter fanfictions--yes, I'm one of those people. Yet, I can't bring myself to write them. Every time I find my character's voice, I lose it.
Another thing that has taken up my time is wrock. For those of you who don't know, wrock is short for wizard rock. For those of you in the know, yes, I actually perform this stuff. Sort of. I've finished one album, but I've not released it yet. I keep waiting for wrockBOX to open up so I can submit my music. I'm waiting for a melody to strike me for the two songs I'm currently working on. My guitar is constantly ignored in favor of my keyboard, which only adds to my frustration at being unable to create the sound I want.
My main distraction is two-fold. I'm a dancer. I've begun working towards competition, which is a big deal for someone who is still considered a beginner in some circles. The time I'm not practicing until I'm sore, I'm taking lessons, or dancing socially. I've been told I have an addictive personality, and I believe it. I'm addicted to dancing, to the endorphins, to the sheer joy of being good at something. I'm not nervous about it anymore. I'm just driven. I want to do my best and I never settle for less.
Now, some of you, if any, are wondering what chocolate chips have to do with anything in this completely random and pointless post. Chocolate chips have everything to do with it. They've become my solution to all my problems. Whenever I'm stressed, I bake. Oh, I'm having troubles paying for lessons? I'm going to bake a batch of brownies. Oh, we're going to move? I'll just bake some cookies for the trip. Chocolate chips have been what's keeping my from losing my mind entirely in this crazy world I call my own. So thank you, inventor of the chocolate chip (Ruth Graves Wakefield, if anyone was wondering). Thank you for keeping my sane.
And so, I must conclude this post, as I do believe I hear something else calling me away. Thank you for reading the mess that is my thoughts.
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