Late Night Blogging

Normally, I don't bother blogging after midnight, simply because I'm typically laying in bed and attempting to sleep. Tonight, though, four terrible words were uttered.

"Don't wait for me."

To hear those words was like a knife to the heart, again. It isn't the first time this person has said something like this to me. However, it doesn't stop me from hoping that he'll change his mind and admit he loves me. It always seemed like a pipe dream until more recently. Maybe I'm still just dreaming. After all, why would he tie himself to me when he could have anyone?

Heartache comes in many forms. One that I'm sure everyone is deeply aware of is friendzoning. Once you are there, there is little chance of escape. People complain all the time that they can't get passed the fact that they're love with their best friend.

Darlings, I know your pain. I'm there right now, and it's terrible. To be so close, yet have them so far... It's enough to drive you mad. Never despair, though. One day, you will realize you are stronger for it. Until then, soldier on and hope that someday, they will realize your worth.

The End

With everything that's been going on, I'm lucky I've had time to write as much as I have. Things seem to have escalated to the point that I barely have time to think. Despite all this, though, the end of a novel draws near.

I speak, of course, of my novel. It's strange to think I will have to type those words in a matter of hours. I don't want to contemplate how it will feel to have finally done it. This won't be the first novel I've written, but it is the first novel that I've finished and done something with.

The melancholy has finally set in and I know exactly how Jo felt when she finally finished writing Harry Potter. It's bittersweet, but it is something you must become accustomed to as a writer.

Now to finally finish what I started....

Solitude (Growing Up)

It's an strange thing, being away from your parents. It's also a fact of life that you have to grow up and leave the safe and caring environment that your parents are supposed to have provided for you. The even stranger part is realizing that you're taking care or yourself for the first time. It's up to you to put the food on the table, wash your clothes, do the chores...

At first, it can be daunting. I know some people who left home and found themselves at a loss for what they were supposed to do. Without someone to guide them, they made some stupid mistakes. I know others who embraced the freedom and solitude, finding it easier to deal with the occasional oppressing loneliness that threatens.

I've found myself wondering how to fill my days more and more lately. While I am an adult, I've never been so far from my parents. I know that I'll miss them, but they have many adventures ahead of them. As for me, this is only the first step on a journey of a lifetime.

Playing Catch-Up (NaNoWriMo: Day 13)

Well, with access to my writing again and some free time to focus, I'm finally playing catch-up.  Whoo!  Only thirteen thousand words left to go.  So far, I'm incredibly behind my goal.  I was trying to hit 20k this weekend, only I didn't write... anything.  Instead, I worked a little on this new video for my YouTube channel.  The script is kicking my rear, but that's okay.  It'll be fun.

Novel writing is something I've done for awhile.  With everything that's going on this year, I'm starting to think that next year, I need to plan things out better.  Hopefully, it'll mean I can stick to my plot better than I have so far.  There's a lot of fluff and not a lot of substance.

Ah, well, back to writing.  Here's a widget so you can track my progress by day.  Green means I've hit my goal for the day. ;)

Soul Searching (NaNoWriMo Day 6)

Well, I'm behind yet again.  I've somehow fallen behind a good seven thousand words.  Playing catch-up sucks, but it's something I've got to do.  I will manage to do this, even if it takes a few late nights and lots of tea.

Today, though, I really wanted to focus on me time.  I need to find my muse again, get in touch with him/her, and shake them until they start giving me a decent plot...  I'm already starting chapter three and nothing has really happened.  I don't know why, but this whole thing is frustrating me.  Beyond that, I'm still on vacation.  I can't escape enough to write anything worth reading.

So there you have it... My complaints for the day.  Now for me to actually do something productive!

NaNoWriMo: Day 1

Well, it's official.  I've well and truly lost my mind.  Today marks day one of National Novel Writing Month.  For those of you who don't know, it's when all of us who think we can write attempt to write 50k words in thirty days.  Fun stuff.

So, what did I do today on the writing front?  Well... I posted a vlog about doing this, and now I'm writing a blog post...  Fun stuff.  I've also spent the last hour avoiding looking at the pile of laundry and brainstorming for my novel this month.  I'm starting a new project, so this should be interesting.

Hopefully, I'll have more to write later, but I highly doubt it.  If you all are doing NaNoWriMo, feel free to add me as a writing buddy.  My username is SiriusGirl1996.  Happy writing!


Check out my word count!

It's the Feels Talking

One thing everyone should know by now... I'm the kind of girl who will always speak her mind, even if it gets her into trouble.  If you've not figured this out and you read my posts with any regularity, then you've clearly not noticed a trend here.

There is a point here.  I promise.

With all the honesty that doth flow from my mouth and fingertips, I'm actually surprised I don't end up in more trouble.  After all, there are only so many times you can insult someone before they realize it's not actually a compliment.  I don't believe in lying.  Why should I?  It's an awful habit.

So, with at this in mind... why in the world do people still listen to what I say?  I can only embarrass them (and myself) so many times before they say enough is enough.  I'm also fairly positive that I hide my feelings about as well as a bat sees, which is to say not at all.  I'm transparent and proud of it.

In case you haven't realized, I am, honestly, so utterly confused right now.  The source of the confusion: men.  I know I've been told that if you understand football, you'll understand guys, but it hasn't helped me in the slightest.

So yeah... If this post made no sense, it's because it's the feels talking.

Fowl Dream Team (Part 1 possibly)

Yesterday, I managed to finish the final Artemis Fowl book.  It was a mixture of happiness, sadness, and utter depression.  Basically, I was suffering from a severe case of the feels.  After all, I've only grown up with this series.  Why shouldn't I feel a little upset?

Now, in a recent vlog, I promised my Artemis Fowl dream cast.  However, I really don't have all that many actors I can see as characters.  There are some I know I would definitely cast if I was directing the movie, but people like Holly and Arty?  Forget about it.  I have such a vivid image of them in my head that finding someone who fits that description and image is nigh impossible.  However, I'm going to give you a list of four people I do know I would cast.  Here we go.

• Foaly- Steve Coogan
  Before anyone says it, and I know some of you are thinking it, I know he's a bit of a goof.  I know he's not exactly what most people see when they think Foaly, but I think he could pull off the sarcastic centaur easily.
• Artemis Fowl I - Tom Hiddleston/Robert Carlyle
  I have two actors I could see in this role, which makes it a draw.  Tom is an amazing actor with such a range.  He's just brilliant and I love him.  Robert Carlyle is the same way.  Honestly, he's the only actor I've found who can play a character who is supposed to be so evil, and yet, he's not at the same time.  It's an interesting contrast and I would be happy to see either of these amazing men in that role.
• Mulch Diggums - Lee Arenberg
  The second OUaT cast member on my list, Lee is probably best known for his role in Pirates of the Carribean as Pintel.  Remember the shorter, grubby pirate?  Yeah, that's this amazing man.  I've seen him in several extremes and he always impresses me.  I think he's an amazing actor and honestly, he's the only person I can see as Mr. Diggums.
• Butler - Jason Statham
  Go ahead.  Say it.  I know some of you are thinking it.  "Hasn't he had enough roles like this?"  Well, yes and no at the same time.  Butler is honestly the hardest person on this list to really cast in my opinion, and he's also one of the easiest.  It's not his size that appeals; he's actually much shorter than some of the other actors I considered.  However, it's his attitude.  He has a "don't mess with me" stance in all of his roles that I think is really necessary for the role as Butler.

There you have it.  Four people on my Fowl Dream Team.  I'll try to do at least one list per week if I manage to post more than once each week, but I make no promises.  However, do be on the lookout for more of my dream cast and maybe an announcement about my own novel, if I manage to finish it.

It's My Life (I'll Believe What I Want)

Typically, I try to be a very calm person.  Try was the keyword in that sentence.  Typically, I manage to succeed, until idiots surround me or someone attempts to tell me that what I believe is wrong.  Let's back up a little.

For those of you who don't know, I'm not fond of being told what to do... or what to believe.  I never have been and I never will be.  I have some wonderful words that I use when someone wants to tell me I'm wrong.  "Prove it."  It's a challenge, and most people fail to bring the proof.  I especially love when someone likes to try to use the Bible as scientific proof.

Now, I'm not saying that there isn't some truth in the Bible.  It's a brilliant history book, to a point.  When arguing that fossilized evidence isn't valid, though, don't bring religion into it.  I don't care if you're Catholic, Wiccan, or otherwise.  Science and religion have been proven not to mix well.  Galileo was a wonderful example of this.  His (then) radical ideas managed to get him arrested.

No, I'm not saying that there isn't a higher power--don't even get me started.  What I am saying, though, is that thanks to being an American, I'm allowed to believe what I want.  I'm allowed to practice whatever religion I feel like.  If I suddenly feel the urge to worship a shoe as a higher power, I can do that!  I might get laughed at, sure, but that is totally within my rights.

So, let this be a warning to everyone who wants to tell me what to believe.  I will believe what I want and say what's on my mind.  There's nothing you can do about it.  It's also well within your right to tell me I'm wrong, to tell me that I'm not a good person, and to attempt to change my mind.  However, don't expect me to stick around to see what happens.  I'm not lost.  I'm just on a different path.

My Old Foe: Procrastination

Unfortunately, the idle mind brews an idle body.  I've been terrible this week when it comes to procrastination.  My life has gone from far to busy to not busy enough for my tastes.

That's a rather odd thought, in and of itself.  I typically complain that there's not enough time in the day.  Now, I spend my days sleeping, wishing there was less time in the day so I could actually feel like I accomplished something.  However, time is not something that likes to accommodate us when we snap our fingers.  Instead, it continues to move at the same constant rate, no matter what we do.

Well, that's not actually true.  In the words of someone great, time isn't a straight line.  I won't get into the physics, though.  For the sake of this blog, time progresses fairly linearly.  Moving on.

Now, the trick, overcoming procrastination.  I haven't found a good cure.  Even making a schedule doesn't seem to work.  I still do the stuff on it before the day is up, but I put it off until right before bedtime.  Ah, well, a conundrum for another time.

LeakyCon and the Eternal Wait

Seeing as this is the next big event in my life, I feel the need to blog about this.  That's right.  LeakyCon, the biggest Potter convention that still operates regularly.  Why is this such a big deal?  Two reasons:  One, it's freaking LeakyCon, and they're doing TWO this year.  Two, I'm actually planning on going.  Some of you will have already seen my vlog on the matter.  Well, there's a lot more to it than that.

Here's the deal:

LeakyCon has been held every year since 2011, though there was one in 2009.  Officially, I think it's the biggest Harry Potter convention in the world at the moment.  Most other convetions/get-togethers have fizzled out.  Remember WrockStock?  Yeah, cancelled.  The only big thing Potterwise besides Leaky next year is the World Cup.

Now, those of you who know all about LeakyCon, you can all take a five minute break as you skim what I'm writing.  LeakyCon 2013 will be held in Portland.  That's right, Portland.  For those of you who don't know, that's in Oregon.  The other Leaky will be held in London, and that's already sold out.  If that doesn't tell you how big Leaky is, you must be Martian.

Now, while I'm still saving up the money to get to Leaky, the wait is killing me.  Next summer cannot come soon enough!  For those of you who are planning to go, I'll see you there.  I'm sure you'll find me with a camera in hand.  For those of you who aren't going, sucks to be you.  I tease, of course.  I'll try to get every moment on camera for you all!

YouTube, Vlogs, and Fools

I finally did it... I can't believe it.  I finally uploaded an official vlog.  Yeah, it was all of a minute, but hey.  It's up.  It's out there!  Pardon me while I freak out.  While I do that, feel free to watch me make a fool of myself.


Alright.  Now... Now I can maybe calm down.  Maybe.  I doubt it.  I have a feeling I'm going to be changing some things around as I get going, especially around here.  I'm trying to figure out my public image, so be warned... Some things may change big time.

SO!  Life lesson!  Don't post anything on the internet you aren't alright with everyone seeing.  Blogs, vlogs, anything.  Once it's up, there's not a lot you can do to take it back.

Oddest Sources of Inspiration

Normally, I try not to blog two days in a row, but right now, I can't help it.  I have to brag about one of my oldest friends.  This guy is amazing.  You have no idea.

So, long story short... one of my best and oldest friends is now a published author.  I don't mean just online, writing fanfiction like I do, and derping around.  Nor do I mean blogging like an insane person because he doesn't have the inspiration to finish a novel.  He is actually a published author, as of August.

This man is amazing.  He really is.  I've never met a guy who was so talented in so many different fields.  The best part is, he's so humble about it.  He did an interview recently about his book and in it, he said he was nothing special.  He may not see it, but some of us do.

So, just wanted to say that this guy is my inspiration.  If any of you want to know who I'm talking about, the link to his book is below.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Basement-Sickness-trilogy-Volume/dp/1479203351

Internal Struggle of a Writer

Well, look at that.  Too much free time again, and I really don't feel like doing chores.  This is a problem I've found I've had a lot lately, even with finals looming next Friday.  It's not exactly something I enjoy admitting, but I've been bored out of my mind.  In light of this, I decided to let you all know my writing process.

WARNING:  This may show up on my YouTube channel at some point over the next week.

It all starts with an idea.  That idea can come from anywhere, though I do try to avoid writing ideas that spawn from dreams.  All these ideas--and trust me, there's a lot of them--are written down in a notebook.  I've found it makes it so much easier to refer back to them then, and most of them never get any sort of attention until I've hit a block on the novel that I've been focusing on (mostly) for the past two years.

Character development is next.  Yeah, I actually develop my characters.  I have several different exercises I do for this, including, but not limited to, a character interview, writing diary entries for them, a complete profile of them, and various other things.  There are a bunch of character development worksheets I've found recently that I've taken to using, too, to keep everything organized.  All of that goes on loose leaf paper to be put in a folder/binder/portfolio for the book/series that I'm currently working on.

Next is setting.  Sometimes, I'm terrible and don't think this through all the way.  However, especially with what I'm currently working on, I have to have some sort of visual aids to make sure that I can accurately describe what I see in my mind's eye.  I take pictures, I make maps, I scour the Internet for strange names and plants.  I do everything I can to build the towns, countries, even houses, down to the last detail and I make sure I have records of it all.

Finally, finally, I start writing.  I may occasionally skip around, depending on who is in my head at the moment.  Yes, I know, it sounds crazy, but that's how it is.  The characters have to be alive for the writer if the writer wants to have any chance at them living in the readers' minds.  I may go through eight or nine different drafts of the same chapter before I move on.  Sometimes, I may end up just rewriting the whole novel four or five times.  It all depends.  The most important thing, though, isn't just to finish it.  It's to make sure I've enjoyed every moment of it.

Ravenclaw Pride

Ah, the thrill of waiting for the Pottermore House Cup... and the dread of coming in last.  That's right.  I'm a Ravenclaw.  Oh, that's not the best part.  The best part?  We've been trying so hard to keep up.  We just lack the students.

The biggest thing I've noticed with Ravenclaw is that we're very proud to be who we are.  We know we're intelligent.  That might actually be why we're lagging.  We've all got other things going on and don't have time to "brew brew brew" like everyone else wants.  We're all still human, and we've only got so much we can actually do.

As for duelling... I give up on it.  Everytime I go to duel, the letters go up, I press the buttons, and they fall.  Why?  Because it's not accepting that I'm pushing said buttons.  I'd rather brew potions anyway.  Part of the problem is I'm a Ravenclaw... I'm trying to be grammatically correct and capitalize the letters.  I'm sorry.  I'm a nerd.  Kinda hard thing to break.

Anyways... the point is, I'm proud to be a Ravenclaw, even when we're losing.  There's nothing better than knowing you're exactly where you belong.

Back to the Beginning (And some extra stuff)

My goodness, two blogs in a week.  I must be losing my mind.  I don't think you lot mind, though.  So, anyways, on with the show before I start rambling...

Tomorrow is September first.  That's right.  September first.  I'm freaking out sightly, because it's been a year since the last Harry Potter movie came out.  Do you know what that means for me?  That means I've got to find a way to keep Harry Potter alive today without completely losing my mind.  Normally, I'd organize a reenactment of the Battle of Hogwarts, but I don't have enough friends into Harry Potter.  Maybe we'll get together to do that in May... hmm...

Anyways, back the the first.  In order to keep the fandom alive, I'm going to be writing a quick wrock song and releasing it tomorrow on YouTube... if everything goes according to plan.  I'm also working on some stuff for my soon-to-be opened Etsy store, including some House bracelets.  Yes, I'm a nerd.  Get over it.

All of my Quibblo readers will be happy to know that I'm also going to be publishing at least one chapter of one fanfiction tomorrow.  I'll also try to get my Fanfiction.net story updated, but I make no promises on that front.  I've been terrible lately.

Also!  While I remember...  Next week is midterms for me.  Yes, I know, for most of you, school's only just started.  Gimme a break.  I'm in college and my college is weird.  Really, really, really, really weird.  For my blogs, that means I might vlog some, but I don't know if I'll put up an actual blog next week.  I'm going to try to, at the very least.

So, now, a question.  How are you celebrating the beginning of the Hogwarts term, my lovelies?

Off the High

Competition.

I still can't believe it's over.  I can't even bring myself to write a long post about it because I poured my heart out on my other blog...  Biggest day in my life and it's officially been over for two days.  There are no words.  None at all.

It was an amazing experience and I would do it again in an instant.  Even the glitter.  There is no feeling like this.  Wow...

Hopefully, I'll be able to think more about this later, but for now, I'm going to enjoy coming off the high.

Overcoming Writer's Block

It's been a crazy couple of weeks!  Between finals, dance, and just trying to not lose my mind, I'm surprised I managed to find time to do anything.  With seven weeks of no class looming ahead of me, I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do.

As those close to me know, I'm a writer first and foremost.  My brain doesn't turn off like a normal person's, and often, I write multiple stories/novels at once.  While I've yet to be published, I don't stop writing.  My main problem is writer's block.  Whenever I get it, I start work on a new idea I had, and then the process repeats.  In an effort to finally finish a novel I've been working on for two years, I've started to rewrite it... again. 

The easiest way for me to begin was to start at the basic level, developing the characters fully and putting that on paper.  Over the next few days, I'll be hammering out those details.  It's interesting to see how these characters look on paper when they aren't just shouting instructions in my head about their story.

The next step is an outline.  Up to this point, I'd had an idea of where I wanted the story to go, but I hadn't put it all down on paper so details were getting lost in translation.  By having an outline, I'll be able to keep writing, even when things seem bleak.  As soon as that's done, I'll be able to buckle down and finally write!

Meanwhile, I've also been working on creating visual aids to help me with the writing.  As I've been working on getting my character development on paper.  Having some of the personal effects of my characters helps me channel them, to truly get the tone of the situation they're in.  I also have a tendency to act out their fights, to see exactly how it would work.

Now that I've babbled some about my writing exercises, feel free to leave me a comment about your own.

Human

It seems fitting I finish up this month's blogs with a post about how flawed people, myself included, are.  Spring is a time to clean out the old issues and welcome the dawning of a new year, a new chance at life.  Summer brings us the chance to grow as people, to find ourselves, and hope we don't lose people along the way.

Over the past month, I've come to terms with a lot.  I've lost friends, made new ones, and grown as a person.  I'm still flawed, and I always will be.  I long ago accepted that I'm nowhere close to perfect.  Self-pity?  Yeah, I feel it.  Anger, depression, pride?  Yeah, I suffer from those emotions as well.  However, I work hard to overcome the negativity in my life.  I try very hard to let go of the past, and to learn from my mistakes.

Very recently, I had a bit of a meltdown.  I called some people out on the way they were treating me and the backlash was horrific.  I was sick of the abuse I was taking from people who didn't even know me or what happens in my life.  People close to those people then took it upon themselves to let me know I'm a pathetic bitch.  Hey, I'll own up to that.  I only have one thing to say in my defense:  I am human.  I make mistakes.  Life isn't about everyone liking you.  It's not about pissing off everyone around you.  It's about making mistakes, learning from them, and trying to be a better person.

So here it is, my soul laid bare.  I'm a pathetic teenager who suffers from a horrible mental affliction called being human.  I'm too smart for my own good, I don't believe in false modesty, I make mistakes quite often, and I'm in love with my life.  I wouldn't change me for the world.

Starkid and Vlogging

Ordinarily, at one o'clock in the morning, I'd rather be sleeping, or speaking to the lovely man in my life, but once again, I find myself blogging.  Heck, I could be playing Pokemon, and here I am.

Recently, I watched Starkid's new musical.  For those of you who don't know, Starkid is a theatre group which Glee's lovely Darren Criss is a part of.  Their musicals include Me and My Dick, A Very Potter Musical, A Very Potter Sequel, and recently Holy Musical, B@man.  Of course, they're probably better known in the non-Potter community for Starship.  While I ordinarily don't tell people to do things--no, that's not true, I am bossy--if you haven't seen these musicals, I strongly suggest you go watch them.  Not only will you laugh until you cry, the music is brilliant.

Now, recently, I watched HMB.  I fell in love with the songs and the way the story was presented.  The cast did a wonderful job of translating the characters of the only comic books I've ever read into live action.  I heard it described as very much like a comic book, and I can agree with that.  It was like going back to my roots with Batman's story, back to the original movies and some of the original comic books (I never claimed to have read more than a few, though, mind you).  Mixed in were references to other favorite stories of mine and I loved every minute of it.

Now, I come to another point I wanted to make.  As some of you know, I do have a YouTube channel, on which I post, or plan to post, my wizard rock.  However, as I am terrible about posting on here, I've considered starting vlogging.  It doesn't mean I would stop blogging, merely add something else to my list of hobbies.  I've yet to decide if I'll actually go through with it, though.  We'll just wait and see.

Haters Gonna Hate

Odd title, isn't it?  For me, at least, it is.  I try to avoid subjects where I'll be complaining about how I feel.  This is one of those rare occasions I'm going to give in, though.  For some reason, people look at me and don't think I take crap from anyone.  That's mostly right.

Ordinarily, I brush off the abuse I take from people for how I behave, how I dress, how I carry myself.  There are times, though, that I give in and let it get to me.  I'm still human, even if I don't let the words get to me.  I still feel even when I pretend I'm made of ice.  I call myself the Ice Queen for a reason.

There comes a point when it crosses a line.  It's cyberbullying when people attack one person for no reason.  I see a lot of this in one of the former Roleplay universes I still have characters alive in.  People will become vicious for no reason other than to be mean.  We're all human, I know, but having people attack for something innocent, even in character, crosses a line.

The sad part is, they don't do it to just one person.  They do it to each other, then those same people who were attacked before help those who attacked them with attacking someone else.  It saddens me to see that happen.  Why can't we all just get along?  I know it doesn't seem to be "human nature", but neither is defending the people who attack you.

So, I'll put this question for you.  Why do they do it?  Why do they make people feel small just because they can?

The answer is simply this... Because they can.  Because we let them get away with it.  Because no one has the guts to stand up and call them out on it.

I'm done taking the abuse.  I'm done letting them walk over me because they think they can.  I understand the in-character hating on my characters.  They aren't always likeable.  But don't carry it elsewhere.  Don't let it seep into your actual life because it becomes poison.

I'm Bringing Hippie Back

 Well, once again, I find myself writing late at night.  Believe it or not... not typicially what I like doing on my days off.  Ordinarily, I'm wrapped up in a book or being a nerd and doing homework.  Not tonight, though.  Instead, I'm sitting here... posting pictures of hemp jewelry.  Well guess what?  I'm bringing hippie back. :)  Night, y'all.

Invisible in a Sea of Faces

We've all been there.  We've all felt invisible.  Sometimes, we just can't help it.  We're overlooked by those we thought cared.  "Why?" we ask ourselves.  Why the hell are we the invisible ones?  What did we do to earn this?  More importantly, why don't they understand?

Here's the thing.  They do understand.  They've all been there, too.  Sometimes, we just don't want to believe it.  It's hard to accept that the same people who make us feel invisible also feel invisible.

For the past seventeen years, the only time I'm seen is when I'm dancing.  When I'm moving, I don't care if I can be seen.  I just want to forget.  Sometimes, it's painful to hold on to the feelings that I hide from the rest of the world.  The minute I'm on the dance floor, the rest of the world ceases to matter.  All that matters is my partner and the music.

Only one other person managed to change that.  Without him, I'd have sunk into a depression again.  Instead, he keeps me sane, keeps me from going over the deep end and never being able to find myself again.  The sad thing is... he lives too far away to spend time with.  I can't call him up when I'm on the verge of tears.  I have to wait until he gets online to tell him about how small I've been made to feel.

So yeah... Even if you feel invisible, please know you aren't the only one.  We've all been there.  We've all felt like this.  Some of us still feel that way.  Know this, though... no one can change it but you.

Good Things

Well... it's official.  My spring break is over.  No more.  Classes start again tomorrow for me and I get the lovely pleasure of sitting through yet another lecture on music.  While I love music--obviously, wrocker, remember?--I have to try my hardest not to correct my professor's petty mistakes.  While I'm no expert on music, I do know the difference between harmony and melody for goodness sake.   Musical theory?  No problem.  I'm a quick study and music is one of the few things I've remained passionate about for the last seventeen years of my life.

Meanwhile, I've also got Algebra.  I love this class to death, I really do, which is saying something because I normally bomb my math classes.  The only bad thing?  I've gotten used to not starving myself over spring break.  The class is scheduled in such a way that I miss lunch.  I can't even eat anything right after, because I have dance then.

Now, I really have nothing more to say, as it is time for me to hit the sack so I can be up with the sun tomorrow.

“All good things were at one time bad things; every original sin has developed into an original virtue.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Chocolate Chips, Fanfics, and Wrock

Believe it or not, I'm always up this late.  Even with everything that goes on in my life, I still manage to find time for the important things, even at the risk of sacrficing my sleep for it.  Sometimes, that simply means curling up with a good book or logging on to Skype so I can chat with my friends around the globe.  Lately, though, I've been rethinking everything I consider important.

I'm one of the few people I know who remembers almost everything.  I can still remember the first poem I had to memorize for school.  Scary, isn't it?  To drive this fact home, I've, quite sadly, not read anything except... wait for it... fanfiction and textbooks in the past four months.  The main reason for that?  I'm a college student.  I find time to do things I enjoy, but only just.  Clearly I've found myself wondering why I'm not devoting my energy to something else.  I have several unfinished novels collecting figurative dust on my hard drive.  I have a handful of unfinished Harry Potter fanfictions--yes, I'm one of those people.  Yet, I can't bring myself to write them.  Every time I find my character's voice, I lose it.

Another thing that has taken up my time is wrock.  For those of you who don't know, wrock is short for wizard rock.  For those of you in the know, yes, I actually perform this stuff.  Sort of.  I've finished one album, but I've not released it yet.  I keep waiting for wrockBOX to open up so I can submit my music.  I'm waiting for a melody to strike me for the two songs I'm currently working on.  My guitar is constantly ignored in favor of my keyboard, which only adds to my frustration at being unable to create the sound I want.

My main distraction is two-fold.  I'm a dancer.  I've begun working towards competition, which is a big deal for someone who is still considered a beginner in some circles.  The time I'm not practicing until I'm sore, I'm taking lessons, or dancing socially.  I've been told I have an addictive personality, and I believe it.  I'm addicted to dancing, to the endorphins, to the sheer joy of being good at something.  I'm not nervous about it anymore.  I'm just driven.  I want to do my best and I never settle for less.

Now, some of you, if any, are wondering what chocolate chips have to do with anything in this completely random and pointless post.  Chocolate chips have everything to do with it.  They've become my solution to all my problems.  Whenever I'm stressed, I bake.  Oh, I'm having troubles paying for lessons?  I'm going to bake a batch of brownies.  Oh, we're going to move?  I'll just bake some cookies for the trip.  Chocolate chips have been what's keeping my from losing my mind entirely in this crazy world I call my own.  So thank you, inventor of the chocolate chip (Ruth Graves Wakefield, if anyone was wondering).  Thank you for keeping my sane.

And so, I must conclude this post, as I do believe I hear something else calling me away.  Thank you for reading the mess that is my thoughts.

Disillusioned, or An Introduction

Ordinarily, I wonder in my sanity to decide to blog.  It's been something I've debated for several months.  However, over the last week, I have been pushed to finally post.  As some people who are possibly reading this, I constantly have strong opinions.  It is one of those opinions that brings me here now.
The Internet has been abuzz with news about the column written by Samantha Brick, asking why women hate her because she's attractive.  Ordinarily, I don't get involved in things like this.  I saw the article about the backlash on Yahoo! and wondered if it was a troll.  Out of sheer curiosity, I investigated.  What I found... it stunned me.

I knew that people can be very vicious, but I hadn't realized exactly how much a single column could turn the world against a woman.  Some of the comments I do agree with.  However, the reaction of the author... It was what truly stunned me.  Thanks to a wondrous search engine, I was able to find a trove of articles about the backlash and article in question.  Frankly, it all disgusted me.  It was not merely the reaction of the readers, but the desire of the author to post something like this in the first place.

Do we not have enough beautiful people?  Where did all the intelligent ones go?  I know I'm not the last teenage girl who couldn't care less about the way she's perceived.  However, as I look around me, I see people obsessed with the material objects that make our lives easier and the cosmetic side of human nature.  It made me realize something.  We've become vain.  Vanity has always been a part of human nature, but never has it extended quite this far.  We have our world famous celebrities, the ones we turn to for the latest fashions, the latest insipid comments Tweets.  What happened?

So, this is me, disillusioned with society.  An outsider among those who would rather not see the problems.  However, I'm happy to be who I am.  I am, and forever will be, merely, madly me.